If today was your last day
by unlucky90sgirl
Summary: They say never go to bed mad with the people you care about because you never know how many time you have left witht them. What will happen when Ava and Connor had a huge fight and one of them risks not to have the chance to apologize? Rhekker fanfiction, because I love them.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't think you respect me enough!" Ava screamed, angry at him

"I offer you exactly the respect you deserve: none" Connor said, walking away and leaving her alone.

They were working on a patient and as always they found a way to fight. But that time was worse than usual. It all started with a misunderstanding that quickly became a bad fight.

Ava was hurt. Those words hit her deeply.  
She stood here for a couple of seconds, long enough for Natalie to see her completely shattered and come to her. She wanted to make sure her friend was ok.

"Ava, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure" she said, not wanting to show her real emotion. She even managed to smile, before walk away.

She managed to avoid him for the rest of their shift. She was so mad. Since they broke up they couldn't spend a day without fighting. But that day Connor was extremely mean. Ava was used to hear him disagreeing with her and the only thing she always asked for was a bit of respect.  
Today Connor just crossed that line.  
Was she really such a bad person? So bad she didn't deserve respect? She didn't know anymore, she was just sad and angry at him.

She went back to her apartment, she slammed the door and went straight to the bathroom. She took off her clothes and went into the shower. She cried a lot, asking herself what she did so bad in life to deserve all of that.  
She basically had no friends, her family was gone. Connor was the only person she always wanted around. She was in love with him, even after they broke up she didn't stop to love him.  
But now she was betrayed and hurt, but most of all she felt alone.

Connor went home half an hour later, he waited to make sure not to see her in the locker room. He didn't want to talk, he was angry at her. Actually he felt guilty already for what he said. He knew she deserves respect, she was a really great doctor and a beautiful person. She was a badass girl who always wants to win just like him. And that was the reason why they had that terrible fight. They both wanted to be right.

Connor struggled to fall asleep, he was about to call her at some point, but he didn't. He was too stubborn and to be honest he was scared too. He was scared Ava won't listen to him.

Ava did not sleep at all and the following morning she had one of the worst headache she ever had. She swallowed a couple of pain killers with her coffee and went to work anyway.

While going to work Connor planned in his mind a long speech, he wanted to apologize and he hoped Ava was willing to listen.  
Ava, on the other hand, was praying not to meet him. At least not until her headache was gone and she was calm again.

When Connor arrived at MED he started looking for Ava. He wanted to talk to her before the shift started, otherwise he couldn't concentrate on work.  
However, when he went to the locker room, he realized Ava wasn't there yet. She usually had a cup of coffee as soon as she arrived, but her mug was still there.

He decided to go out and ask Maggie where she was.

"I don't know, dude. But a bird told me yesterday you two got in a pretty bad fight" Maggie told him.

"Yeah, that's why am I searching for her. I need to talk" he said.

"Oh, you wanna fight more to start the morning with a bit of adrenaline?" she replied sarcastic.

"Ah, ah. No, I actually wanted to apologize" he explained.

"Listen, I don't know where your princess is right now. But I wouldn't be surprise if she wanted to avoid you today" Maggie said.

He looked at her confused.

"Natalie saw the fight and told me. Gossip, you know. And you know we are friends and everything but try to be nice with her even if you two broke up. What you told her was really unfair" she added.

"I know Maggie, I realized that. I was a moron, ok? Just page me when she is here" he asked.

"Sure" she said.

He was about to go upstairs when he met Natalie. She looked at him with a serious look.

"I know, ok? I was an ass and I'm searching for her to apologize. Maggie already gave me the lecture" he said.

"She had to fight not to cry in front of me, you better have a good speech ready to make her forgive you. You're my friend and so is Ava, if you'll make her suffer more just know I'll stand with her" Natalie told him.

"What is this? Women's code?" he asked.

"Yep. Also, she is already going a rough time after you two broke up. Be nice Connor, I'm telling you this as a friend" she insisted.

"I'll be, I'm feeling so bad already, Nat and you and Maggie are making me feel even more guilty" Connor said.

"Hey. You can fix it. Both the fight and your relationship. Just stop being so stubborn and I'll tell her to stop being stubborn too" Natalie told him with a smile.

He smiled back, he knew she was right and he really hoped to be able to fix everything. Even if the reason why they broke up was just a misunderstanding, since that day they weren't able to talk normally.

While Connor was already at Med Ava was driving in the morning traffic. She was late, her headache ruined her morning.

She soon realized that the painkillers she took before going out weren't working. At all. She sensed a migraine coming not only for the pain but also for the nausea she started to feel.  
Her pain become even worse when the sun started rising and it was shining right into her eyes. She needed to stop and call Maggie to let her know she was going back home, she really couldn't work in that condition. Plus she felt like she was about to throw up, she really needed to get out of her car.  
She spotted a parking at the end of the road, so she decided to drive there.  
She was about to enter it when a car didn't stop at the red traffic light and hit her, making her pass out immediately.

Author's note:

Don't hate me for this fanfiction, I promise it will end well! Just deal with me, I love drama. But not the kind of drama writers are giving us, drama that ends well!


	2. Chapter 2

"Dr. Halstead, car crash patient incoming. Bagdad" Maggie screamed when she saw the ambulance parking.

They were all expecting everything but what was about to happen. They saw Brett looking at them from far away.

"Guys, it's Ava" she simply said pushing the gurney.

Severide and Casey were following her, they were called to take her out of the car and as soon as they realized it was Ava they didn't want to leave her.

"What?!" Maggie screamed.

Hearing those words Will ran even faster. They both looked at the woman on the gurney and they realized they understood perfectly: it was Ava, and judging by what they were seeing she wasn't doing good at all.

"She is not good, guys. We struggled taking her out of her car. Big cut on her head, pressure is dropping. She surely has an internal bleeding" Brett said.

"My god. Page Connor, now!" Will told Maggie.

"Yes, oh my God. Hang in there Ava" Maggie said, squeezing Ava's hand.

"Connor is gonna have a heart attack" she added.

"What happened?" Will asked while starting look at her.

"A man was driving drunk, he didn't stop at the traffic light and he hit her on the driver side. Her car is destroyed, I don't know how she is still alive" Severide said.

Will looked at Maggie, really concerned. Ava looked extremely pale and the cut on her head was really bad.

Maggie paged Connor without telling him Ava was the patient, then she went waiting for him in front of the elevator. She needed to prepare him, she was sure he was gonna have a meltdown but he needed him lucid. Ava needed help and Connor was the one who could help her.

"Maggie, you paged me?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, I need you to listen to me first" she said.

"What?" he asked again.

He was trying to walk to the ED but she blocked him. He looked at her confused.

"The patient who needs your help in Bagdad" she started.

"Uh?" he replied confused.

"It's Ava, Connor. A car crash. She is not doing good and I need you to concentrate. You need to help her, ok? Now, I know you're shocked and you'll be even more shocked when you'll see her. But you need to focus and save her" Maggie said.

Connor stood in front of her petrified, he wasn't sure if it was a dream or the reality.

"What?" he asked.

"Connor we need to go. You take a deep breath, we are all here with you. Will is with her and April is helping him. Deep breath man, I'll be next to you ok?" Maggie said again.

She took him to Bagdad only to realize everyone who wasn't busy was now standing in front of the room. They all wanted to be sure Ava was ok and they wanted to be there in case help was needed.  
Natalie was standing in front of Ava's gurney, she was wearing gloves. She was already helping Will while they were waiting for Connor to arrive.

As soon as he entered the room, he froze. He saw Ava lying on the bed, covered in blood and bruises. Extremely pale and with such low blood pressure he was sure she was about to code.

"Connor" Natalie said, giving him some gloves.

He swallowed, seeing her like that made his stomach clenching. But he had to be strong, for Ava's sake.

"Fast scan" he said.

April was handing him the instrument already.

"She is bleeding, we have to remove her spleen. And her liver is bleeding too" he said.

"Now X-ray" he added.

She was covered in bruises he didn't know where to check her first. But judging by her blood pressure and ecg something was wrong with her heart.  
But as soon as he realized there was blood around her heart all the machine started to beep.

"She is coding!" Will screamed.

"Crash cart, now!" Connor screamed as well, starting chest compressions.

From the outside they were all looking at them trying to save Ava's life.

"One round of EPI" he said while waiting to defibrillate her.

"Please Ava, wake up" he whispered.

They started to resuscitate her. Connor was about to panic, he could feel it.

"C'mon, you're not gonna die today" he kept whispering.

"Stay with me, please" he added.

It took them a while, but all of a sudden they had a pulse. It wasn't strong but good enough to send her in surgery. They needed to stop the bleeding as soon as possible.

"Maggie, page Latham and let him know everything. I'll be in surgery with him soon, I just need a moment" Connor said, running out of the room.

Maggie had already paged Latham, knowing Ava would've need surgery. She looked at Natalie and they understood each other without talking. She went upstairs with Will and Ava while Natalie followed Connor.

She saw Connor run outside and stop right out of the sliding doors. He was trying to catch his breath, he was shaking and he was feeling extremely nauseous.

"Connor, I'm here" Natalie said, looking at him.

"You feel sick?" she also asked, seeing how pale he was.

She didn't need an answer, she saw Connor gagging and he guided him to the closest trash can just in time to see him vomit.  
She placed a hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

"It's ok, let it out" she told him.

She also heard him starting to cry and sobbing. She felt so bad for him, she knew he wanted to apologize with Ava that morning and, knowing what just happened to her, there was a really high chance he could't do it anymore.

"C'mon Connor, let's sit down for a moment" Natalie told him, helping him reaching the bench.

"What if she dies?" Connor asked her.

"She won't, ok? You and Latham are the best CT surgeon here. She is gonna make it" she tried to reassure him.

"We both know she is the best, she is better than me and Latham" Connor said.

"Yeah, but she can't do surgery on herself. And you're as good as her" she replied.

"Her head injury… it looked so bad. We didn't have a chance to send her for some scans. What if she is bleeding inside her brain too" he asked again.

"Latham is taking care of that too, ok? I'm sure he is gonna make her having a CT scan before the surgery" Natalie said.

"She can't die, Nat" he said desperate.

"She won't. Because you're gonna take a deep breath, you're gonna scrub in and save her" she told him.

"Okay" he nodded, standing up.

"You think you can do it? Or you need a couple of minutes more?" Natalie asked, just to be sure he wasn't gonna vomit again in surgery.

"I can do it" Connor said.

"No one is gonna go home until we know she is ok. We will all wait here for you and her. And if you need help, just ask Beth to page us. We will run to you" she said.

He nodded and they both came back in, walking straight to the elevator.  
Natalie went with him to the CT floor and joined Will in front of the scrub room.

"Dude, you ok?" Will asked immediately.

"I've been better, but that's not important" Connor replied.

"Latham order a CT scan, no bleed in her brain. He is already scrubbing in" he told him.

"Thanks man, for everything. And thank to you too, Nat" Connor said, before entering the scrub room.

"Is she gonna make it?" Natalie asked once Connor wasn't there anymore.

"She is in desperate conditions. But you know, she is Ava. I don't think she is gonna give up easily" Will said.

"I'm gonna wait here in case Connor needs help. I already told Maggie" he added.

"I'll stay here too, I'll tell Maggie to page me if she needs help in the ED" Natalie said.

"Also Connor can't stay alone tonight" she added.

"I can stay with him if he wants to go home, otherwise I'll stay here and keep an eye on him" Will told her.

They both sat down in the waiting room, hoping to hear some good news soon. Ava wasn't only Connor's ex girlfriend. She was also their friend and they were extremely worried.

Author's note:

First of all, thank y'all 3 To the the person who asked me to not make Ava pregnant, don't worry I didn't plan that and won't do that :)

Also, I'm not a doc and I don't actually know procedure and stuff so if there's any medical mistake FORGIVE ME GUYS x


	3. Chapter 3

The surgery took what it felt like ages, Connor was emotionally and physically drained. He was happy to see that both Natalie and Will were still there, waiting for him.  
Maggie, Ethan and April were still in the ED. Sharon was in her office, trying to find out if Ava had some emergency contacts, if she had someone to call.  
No one wanted to leave, even Severide, Casey and Brett wanted to stay. But Maggie convinced them to go back to work and she promised to let them know about Ava conditions.

"Hey, how is she?" Natalie immediately asked, seeing Connor walking out.

"Latham is closing her, then we will take her to the ICU. She coded, she was literally bleeding out. But we managed to stop the bleeding and we removed her spleen" he said.

"But I needed to go out, that was really too much" he added.

"Sit down, Connor" Natalie said, making him sit next to Will.

"I had to open her chest, cut her open. That was something I wish I never had to do on my friends" he said, almost crying.

Will put a hand on his shoulder, then he looked at Natalie concerned.

"As I told Nat, Ava isn't someone who gives up easily. She is gonna fight and she is gonna make it" Will said trying to reassure Connor.

"I don't know guys, she lost so much blood and I don't know if she had suffer some brain damage after she coded" Connor said desperate.

He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. Will and Natalie looked at him even more concerned.

"Hey, you ok?" Will asked.

"My head is killing me" he confessed.

"I'm gonna search for water and painkillers" Natalie said.

Will stood up, took a bin and put it next to Connor.

"Thanks" Connor whispered. He did feel extremely sick, he was sure he was about to get a bad migraine.

"Keep your eyes closed, this light is not good if you have a headache" Will suggested him.

"I'm scared my head will explode" he commented.

"Hey, you wanna me help you go to the doctors lounge and lay down?" Will asked.

Connor shook his head, he was really not up for a walk and he didn't want to meet all the other. They surely had a lot of question and he wasn't in the conditions to answer.

"Nat will be back soon with some painkillers, just try and relax" he added.

When Natalie came back she saw the bin next to Connor and she got worried.

"You felt sick?" she asked him but the only answer she got was Connor shaking his head.

So Will answered for him.

"I put it there, he seems like he is about to be sick and I wanted to avoid a mess" he said.

They waited until the painkillers started to work, no one said anything. They just sat there in silence, Natalie let Connor rest his head on her shoulder.  
It took a while but Connor headache started to subside. He opened his eyes again just in time to see Sharon coming out of the elevator.

"Mrs. Goodwin, did you find someone to call?" Will asked.

They were still searching someone to contact to let them know Ava was in hospital.

"Unfortunately, no. The only names on the emergency contacts are Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Manning" Sharon said.

"Wait, no other family members or friends from outside the hospital? No one who can contact her family in South Africa?" Natalie asked confused.

"Nothing. Connor, do you know if there's someone we can call?" Sharon asked him.

"I have no clue" he simply said.

"You never talked about… families?" Will asked surprised.

"No. Just about my stupid father, that's it" Connor said, a bit upset.

"You two were a couple…" Sharon started.

"What do you want me to say? That I didn't care? I do care and I asked once but I saw her face turning sad and I noticed how she just avoided to answer me so I didn't push her! I know what it means to have a shitty family, to only have bad memories and I didn't want to make her sad just to satisfy my curiosity about her past" Connor said, angry.

"But, seeing the situation we are in now, maybe I should've pushed her more. Maybe I did it wrong like everything else. Like I was wrong when we broke up and I was wrong yesterday saying what I said" he added.

He was letting out his frustration, he was mad at himself and he was scared he didn't have time to fix things.  
Natalie looked at both Sharon and Will like she wanted to tell them to shut up, that wasn't the right moment to start a conversation about Connor not knowing things about Ava.

"It's fine, Connor. We will ask her as soon as she wakes up" she said, stroking his back.

"You probably mean, if she wakes up" Connor replied, pessimistic.

Sharon was about to say something to reassure him but Dr. Latham appeared. Apparently surgery was done. He looked shocked too, even if he wasn't good with emotions his face expression showed how upset he was.

"We are about to take her to the ICU" was everything Latham said.

They all stood up, ready to follow Ava. No one wanted to leave her or Connor alone.

"You know that you can't go all in her room, right?" Latham said.

"Connor will go, we are gonna wait for him outside" Will said.

Dr. Latham nodded, starting to walk.  
When they arrived in the ICU she was already in her room, they were all able to see her from the window. They let Connor go in, while they were waiting outside.  
They all saw him sitting on the bed, grabbing her hand and cry. Natalie couldn't help but cry too, for both Connor and Ava.

"Hey, you ok?" Will asked her.

"Yes. It's just… It's so terrible" she said, wiping away her tears.

"I know" Will say, hugging her for a couple of seconds before turning to Dr. Latham and Sharon.

"How many chances she will make it?" he asked now that Connor wasn't there to listen.

"To be honest with you it's already a miracle she made it through the surgery. So at this point I don't really know. If she makes it through the night then there's a good probability she will wake up. If she doesn't have brain damages" he frankly said.

"Are you gonna order a CT scan?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, but tomorrow morning. She is not stable enough now" Latham said.

"Do you know if she has a family or friends in South Africa that we can call?" Sharon asked Latham.

"I'm sorry, I don't. She never told me and I never felt the need to ask" he answered, feeling a little guilty.

They all looked at each other in silence, they all realized they didn't know anything about her except for her life in the hospital.

"You should take Dr. Rhodes at home, he was shattered in the OR. He really needs to rest" Latham suddenly added.

They all turned looking at him, he was still crying while holding Ava's hand.

"Will, you should stay with him tonight. I'm afraid to make him feeling uncomfortable" Natalie said.

"Yeah, no problem. I just hope I'll be able to convince him to come out of Ava's room" Will replied.

"I can do that" Natalie told him.

When she entered the room Connor looked at her immediately. She could see the pain and the fear in his eyes.  
She went standing next to him and she looked at Ava. She was still intubated, still pale as a corpse. She was so scared for her friend she almost feel bad to ask Connor to leave.

"We should go now" Natalie told him.

"No, I can't leave her alone" Connor said, trying to stop crying.

"We can't stay here during the night, you know that. And you really need to rest Connor" she insisted.

"What if she…" he started, not really able to finish the sentence.

"I don't want her to be alone" he added.

"Connor she is gonna be fine. And I think Latham is gonna sleep in the hospital just in case she needs him" Natalie explained.

"Oh, Nat" Connor said, desperate.

He was still sitting on the bed, still holding Ava's hand. So Natalie hugged him, trying to comfort him a but before forcing him to exit the room.

"C'mon, let's go now" she said, helping him get up and guiding him outside of the room.

They convinced him to go home with Will with the promise they would call him if something happened. Connor barely talked and as soon as they entered his apartment he went to his bedroom.

"Feel free to use the kitchen and the living room. There's not so much food in the fridge but take whatever you like, man. And don't you dare to sleep on the couch, there's the guest room ready" Connor said.

"Don't worry about me. But I'm here if you need me" Will said.

"Thank you, really" Connor said really grateful to have such good friends.

Then he went in his room and he closed the door. He wanted to take a shower and cry as long as he needed. He eventually got in bed, too tired to stay awake but too upset to sleep. He was ready for a long and painful night but he couldn't wait for the morning to come so he could go back to Ava.

Author's notes:

Thank y'all x I'm glading you like my story so far 3 I hope you like this chapter too, I'll update soon :)


	4. Chapter 4

When Will woke up the following morning, he found Connor already in the kitchen. He was trying to make coffee, trying to figure out how the coffee machine worked.

"You never use it, am I right?" Will asked.

"I always buy coffee at work" he told him, remembering say the same thing to Ava the first time they slept together.

"I'll do it. The poor guy from Canaryville always make coffee at home to save some money" Will joked.

"The rich guy will buy you coffee everyday starting from today, to thank you for all you've done" Connor said.

"I've done nothing" Will replied.

"You helped her when they brought her to the hospital and you're helping me now" Connor told him.

Will nodded, understanding what he meant. Connor was surely rich but he didn't have an easy life. So he understood that he was really grateful to have friends on his side and not to be alone facing all of that.

"Did you sleep?" Will asked him.

"A couple of hours, maybe" Connor said.

"That means you didn't sleep at all" Will stated.

He managed to make Connor eat something, then they both left to go back to the hospital. When they arrived at the hospital Maggie was waiting for them outside, she wanted to check on Connor and make sure he was able to handle all the questions that the others had for him.

"How is she?" Connor asked as soon as he got out of the car.

"Surprisingly stable. She had a CT scan and everything's fine" Maggie reassured him.

But she noticed how pale and tired he looked.

"Did he sleep? And did he have something for breakfast?" she asked to Will, who nodded.

"Yes, mum. And I also had a shower. Can we go in now?" Connor asked impatiently.

"We can but can you handle questions? Because Ethan, April… Everyone is waiting for you to ask you things" she said.

"Maggie I don't want to seem rude but now I'm about to enter this hospital and go straight to the ICU. If the others have questions they can ask you or Will or Natalie. I need to see Ava and I need to stay with her" Connor told her.

"I'll talk with the others. You go" Will said.

He literally run to the ICU and he found Latham and Natalie outside.

"Guys, how is she?" Connor asked.

"Dr. Rhodes, good morning. Are you ok? You look slightly pale" Latham said.

"How is she?" he asked again.

"She is doing better than we expected, Connor. She made it through the night, she is a fighter" Natalie said, smiling at him.

Connor took a breath of relief, then he looked inside the room and he saw her.

"We did a CT scan and her brain is perfect. Also she is no longer intubated and I expect her to wake up soon" Latham said.

"That's… That's really great" Connor said, surprised.

He expected bad news, he was so scared after what happened the night before.

"Can I stay with her?" he asked.

"Yes, even if it's against the rules you can spend the day inside her room. But not the night" Latham told him.

"But…" he started.

"No but. This is my last word. You need to rest at night. She will need you during the day, you can't be tired" Latham told him.

"Now go in, sit down and stay with her. I'll bring you something to drink and to eat. My God, Connor. You look like you're about to pass out" Natalie told him.

"Nothing to eat, thanks" he said.

"You're not gonna fight me on that. I'll stay here until you eat something" she insisted.

"Jeez, Nat. I'm not a 5 years old" he joked.

"Not 5… a 4 years old, maybe" she laughed.

Connor went inside the room, he took a chair and he sat next to Ava. He grabbed her hand and looked at her. At least Ava looked less pale than the day before and that was an improvement. Her blood pressure was getting better and she was able to breathing on her own.

"Avey, I'm here" he said kissing her forehead.

He knew she was asleep but he couldn't help. He wanted to hug her so bad, but he knew he couldn't. He didn't want to risk to hurt her. So he just sat on his chair, holding her hand and stroking her arm.  
Five minutes later Natalie entered the room.

"Here, drink your tea and eat some cookies" she said.

"Yes, mum" he joked.

"Will or I will bring you lunch, later. I have to go back to the ED, now. Can you page us if you have news?" she asked, pointing at Ava.

"Of course. Thank you" Connor said very grateful for his friends.

A couple of hours later, when Maggie showed up in the ICU, Ava was still not awake and Connor didn't left her side for a moment.

"Hey, how are you two doing?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know" he whispered.

"You're a mess, Connor. Let's go and grab a coffee" she told him.

"I can't leave her" he replied, almost crying.

Maggie sighed, it broke her heart to see Connor like that. And she was worried about Ava.

"She feels so cold" he added, rubbing her hand.

Maggie took a look at the monitors and then touched Ava's hand. She was indeed cold, but it was nothing worrying.

"Her temperature is ok, Connor. Look at the monitors" she told him.

He nodded, still not convinced. So he took off his sweater and he put it on her legs convinced it was going to help her.  
Maggie put her hands on his shoulders, looking at both him and Ava.

"What if I stay here with her for a while and you go out, buy two coffee and take a breath of fresh air?" she suggested.

"And if she wakes up?" he asked.

"I'll be here. I promise I'm not gonna exit this room until you're back" Maggie told him.

He took a deep breath and he nodded, standing up to go outside. She took his place and held Ava's hand to show him she was gonna stay and do the same he was doing.

When he went out to the hospital to go and buy coffee at the coffee chart Ethan followed him, he wanted to let him know that they were all there for him. And also ask how Ava was doing.

"Hey" Connor said, trying to smile when he saw him.

"Hey, man. How are you doing?" Ethan asked.

"I've had better days but I'm not bad" he told him.

"How is she?" he asked.

That was the question everyone asked, he asked that himself but the truth was no one knows how she really was because she was still unconscious.

"She can breath on her own but she is still not awake" Connor said.

"You know… if you need something you just have to ask" Ethan told him.

"I really appreciate your support guys, I couldn't ask for better friends" Connor said.

"I just want her to be ok again" he added whispering.

But Ethan heard him and he also saw how lost he looked and how both physically and emotionally tired he was.

"Hey, why don't we go back to the ICU together so I can visit Ava for a couple of minutes" Ethan said.

Connor simply nodded and he started to walk with him. When they arrived in the ICU Connor went immediately back to Ava while Maggie went out to talk to Ethan.

"He looked like a zombie, I was scared he wasn't gonna make it here without passing out" he explained.

"Convince him to rest a bit, Will said he didn't sleep at all last night" he added.

After talking with Ethan for a while, Maggie went back into Ava's room to spend a bit of time with Connor. Before she left he convinced him to try and sleep on the comfy chair the nurse had brought in for him.  
He was so tired he fall asleep immediately, but since he didn't want to let go of Ava's hand, he ended up falling asleep with his head on her bed.

Author's note:

hey guys! Thank you so much for your reviews and support! xx another chapter will be uploaded soon x


	5. Chapter 5

He slept for about a couple of hours before he felt something moving. He opened his eyes and he realized he was sleeping on Ava's hand. It took him a couple of seconds to understand she was moving her hand.  
He immediately look at her, noticing she was opening her eyes; so he sat on her bed grabbing both of her hands.

"Avey" he called her name.

She was moving and groaning, she wasn't completely awake.

"Hey Ava, can you look at me?" he asked.

"Connor" she whispered a couple of minutes later when her eyes finally focused on him.

"Where am I?" Ava asked.

"In hospital, ICU actually" Connor told her.

"In hospital? Why?" she asked again.

"You don't remember?" he replied confused.

"Remember what? And why my whole body hurts like hell?" she said.

She shut her eyes and clenched her teeth, he could see some tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You got in a terrible car crash, Ava. You don't remember anything?" he told her.

"No" she said shaking her head.

"I'm in so much pain" she added crying.

"I know, let me call someone. We will give you morphine" Connor said, only to see her crying more.

He ran out of her room and as soon as he saw Latham he dragged him into Ava's room.

"Connor" Ava almost screamed when he saw him coming back.

"I'm here" he told her.

"Focus on me, Ava. You'll be fine" he added.

"Dr. Bekker, I'm glad to see you're awake" Latham said.

"Give her some morphine" Connor said.

"I can't breath, it hurts too much" Ava complained, while crying.

"Calm down, Avey. You're gonna be fine. Just squeeze my hands" Connor told her, sitting on her bed.

"Morphine, now!" he also screamed to Latham, who was already giving it to her.

As soon as the meds started to kick in, Ava relaxed.

"Hang in there, Ava. I'm not gonna leave you" he told her.

"Am I going to die?" she asked.

"No, you'll fall asleep and when you will wake up again you'll feel so much better" he comforted her.

"Stay with me" she begged him before falling asleep.

"I'm not going anywhere" Connor reassured her.

He keeps stroking her hair and cheeks, hoping to make her feeling even more relaxed while she was sleeping. He took a look at the monitor to make sure her heartbeat was fine, he was so scared she was about to code again; he was sure he wouldn't be able to deal with that again. Only see her crying in pain made his heart breaks in thousands of pieces.

"Dr. Rhodes, can we talk for a moment?" Latham asked him, pointing at the door.

Connor stood up nodding and he followed Latham while still keeping an eye on Ava. They stopped right next to the door so they could keep seeing Ava, who was asleep.

"Pain is normal after what she went through. She will be in pain again when she will wake up but hopefully not as much as she was five minutes ago" Latham started.

"Since you're gonna stay with her all the day, can I ask you to page me when she wakes up again so I can immediately check on her?" he added.

"Of course, Dr. Latham. But I'm slightly concerned… She didn't remember anything about the car crash" Connor said, clearly concerned.

"Let's not panic before knowing what's going on. She was surely confused and in pain. Let's wait until she wakes up again" Latham told him.

Connor nodded, knowing that Dr. Latham was right. Ava was only awake for five minutes, it wasn't enough time to understand if she have had brain damages or not.  
He came back to her room, sat again on her bed and texted Maggie. He wanted to let her know that Ava woke up, even if only for a few minutes.

It was less than two hours later that Ava started to move again. This time Connor wasn't asleep, he was holding her hand, running a thumb over a little scratch caused by the car crash.  
When he realized she was starting to open her eyes again, he squeezed her hand and prayed she wasn't about to scream in pain again.

"Hey, Avey. You awake?" he asked, almost whispering to not scare her.

He heard are groaning a little while she was trying to sit on the bed, so he immediately stopped her scared she was gonna hurt herself.

"Hey, hey. Easy, Ava. Don't try to sit, I can raise the bed a bit of you want" Connor said.

"Are you listening to me?" he also asked.

She nodded, still clearly confused and half a sleep.  
He raised her bed a little bit, enough to make her more comfortable. Then he pressed a kiss on her forehead and he waited until she finally looked at him.

"Connor" Ava said almost whispering and searching for his hand.

"I'm here" he reassured her.

"Tell me again what happened, I'm so confused" she asked, coughing a bit.

"Just give me a second, I'll ask a nurse to page Dr. Latham and I'll be right back" Connor told her.

He went out of the room and stopped a nurse, asking her to page Latham immediately.

"He is in surgery right now, but he'll be done soon. I'll page him anyway so he will come her straight away" the nurse said.

He was back in Ava's room after less than a minute, he could see the pain and the fear in her eyes, so he immediately sat down on her bed grabbing her hand again.

"Tell me, how much pain from 1 to 10?" Connor asked.

"Um, 7 probably" Ava told him.

"I'm thirsty" she added.

"I know, but you still can't have anything to drink or eat. I'm sorry" he said.

She knew that, she was a surgeon too. But in that moment she was so confused, she only remembered Connor telling her she was in a car crash and judging by the pain she was sure she had some kind of surgery.

"Can you tell me what happened, now?" she asked once again.

"I assume you were driving to work, in the morning traffic. A drunk driver didn't stop at the traffic light and he hit you" he simply said.

"You don't remember anything at all?" he asked, worried.

"I remember driving here with a terrible headache. And I remember I wanted to stop to call Maggie and tell her I wasn't able to come to work, I guess I was about to feel sick. And the next thing I remember is you when I woke up" Ava explained, visible scared.

"It's ok, you probably didn't realize the car was coming and then you went unconscious" Connor reassured her.

"My head still hurt like hell, tho" she commented trying to smile.

Connor smiled back, starting to running his thumb on her hand again. He knew she was about to ask if she had surgery and even if he wanted to avoid the topic he knew she had the rights to know.

"Was I unconscious when they took me here?" Ava asked.

"You were. Kelly and Matt struggled to take you out of your car. You had a pretty bad cut on your head, this is why it hurts, and you were bleeding a lot" he started to explain.

"And did I need surgery?" she asked again.

He nodded, trying to find a way to tell her the whole story without scaring her.

"You scared the shit out of me, Ava" he commented nervously.

"You first coded in the ED. Both your spleen and liver where bleeding and you had blood around your heart. Then we took you in surgery, we removed your spleen, fixed your liver and heart and in the meanwhile you coded again. But I was able to bring you back" he told her, avoiding details.

They were useless in that moment and he wasn't ready to revive the whole moment. Just as much as Ava, she really didn't need to know how much she was bleeding and how long she took her to come back.

"You… you did surgery on me?" she asked shocked.

"Yeah. It was me and Latham. As much as I hated to do that to you, I didn't want anyone else to touch you…" he told her.

"Thank you" she said, squeezing his hand back.

Both of them had a lump in their throat; Connor felt like he was about to fall apart and cry his eyes out. He was still so scared but so relieved at the same time, he was going through a rollercoaster of emotions. But he held it together, for Ava who was as upset as him.

"I coded twice" she added.

A tear rolled down her cheek and Connor's heart broke even more.

"It's okay, Ava. You came back and you're fine now. You can't see the monitor but your heartbeat is great and the blood pressure's too. You're doing good" he tried to reassure her.

"I'm scared" she admitted.

"I know, Avey. I was so scared to lose you too. But now we're both here, we're talking and it's gonna be fine" he told her.

"Listen, I know you're in pain right now. But do you think you can wait before I give you some more morphine? Latham wanted to check on you, but you have to be awake" he added.

"I can handle the pain, right now" she said, nodding.

"My tough girl" Connor commented, gently kissing her forehead again.

She felt like blushing a little bit. She remembered the bad fight they had the day before the car crash, but in that moment she needed Connor so bad she was ready to forget about it. Even tho she was conscious that they had to talk about it as soon as she was feeling better.

"Are you gonna stay here with me all day?" Ava asked him.

"Yes, all day every day. I'm not allowed to stay during night, but I'll stay here until they throw me out" he said, smiling.

He suddenly felt her shiver.

"Are you cold?" Connor asked, worried.

He looked at the monitors, her hands were still cold for all the blood she had lost but her temperature was fine, just like when Maggie was there and she checked.  
He saw her nodding, so he took his sweater, that he previously put on her legs, and put it carefully on her shoulder.

"Better?" he asked.

"I also feel nauseous" she told him, closing her eyes.

"Surgery was pretty long, you were under anesthesia for quite a while. I'm not surprised you feel nauseous" he said, putting a hand on her stomach.

"Headache is not helping at all" she commented, breathing deeply.

"I can only imagine" he told her, feeling her stomach clenching.

She was feeling really sick, she heard Connor say something but she couldn't concentrate.

"Connor" she simply said, putting a hand on her mouth.

He was ready, he realized she was about to be sick so he grabbed the pink emesis tray the was on her bed's table and put it in front of her just in time.  
As soon as she started vomiting, she bend over and that made her body hurt even more. Connor looked at her really concerned.

"It's fine, Ava. Let it out" he told her stroking her back with his free hand.

As soon as she was done vomiting, he noticed she started crying.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" Connor asked concerned.

"It hurts so bad" Ava complained, pointing to her chest.

He could only imagine the amount of pain she was going trough, so he threw away the emesis tray and sat back on her bed.

"We had to crack you chest open, that's why you're in so much pain. But try and calm down, crying will make it worse" he said, feeling completely useless.

But she just kept crying, struggling to breath.

"Ava, c'mon. Just breath, I'll give you some morphine now. But you have to calm down" he insisted.

But he soon realized she wasn't only crying for that, she was panicking. He could've seen it in her eyes and he wanted to make her relax again before giving her meds.

"Ava, listen to me. Hey, it's ok, I'm here" he started, looking at the monitor and noticing how fast her heart was beating.

In that moment a nurse ran into her room concerned by the sound of her monitor.

"What's going on?" the nurse asked.

"She is having a panic attack. It's fine I can handle it" Connor told her.

"Maybe we should give her some valium" the woman said, reaching for the med.

"No! I said I can handle it, I can help her" he told her again.

"But…" the nurse started.

"But nothing! Get out of here I can take care of the situation and you're just scaring her even more" Connor shouted to the woman, who left the room upset.

He went immediately back on concentrate on Ava.

"Hey! You have to calm down and breath, panicking it's not good for your heart right now" he insisted.

"Connor" Ava said, almost screaming, grabbing his hands and looking at him terrified. 

Author's note:

OMG YOU GUYS WHAT DID JUST HAPPEN? I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT BOTH NORMA AND COLIN ARE LEAVING THE SHOW I'M SO SO SO SAD :( I promise I'll finish my story, so it won't be just half done but I think I'm in denial...


	6. Chapter 6

Connor was still trying to calm her down, she was in the middle of a panic attack and he noticed she wasn't listening to him.  
He made Ava lay down again, forcing her to look in his eyes.

"Ava, I know you're scared but everything is going to be fine. You just have to listen to my voice and breath" Connor told her.

He put his hands on her face, looking at her in the eyes.

"I'm here Avey, you're safe. You really need to breath" he insisted.

But Ava wasn't able to concentrate, her mind was far away. She was remembering things from her past that made everything worse. Her pain felt like ten times more intense and her brain wasn't able to stop her thoughts.  
She wanted to ask Connor for some help, she wanted to tell him what was going on. But she wasn't able to breath or talk.

"Hey! If you don't breath you're gonna pass out" he said.

"My god, Ava. Ava!" he added, almost screaming.

The fact that he raised his voice made her focus on him for a couple of seconds, she was still panicking but she felt like it was subsiding. And he realized that. It took her five minutes to calm down enough to be able to speak again. She was still crying but at least she wasn't panicking anymore.

"Are you with me again?" Connor asked softly, stroking her hair.

"Yeah" Ava replied with shaky voice.

"Alright, I'll give you something for the pain now" he said, standing up.

"No" she stopped him, grabbing his hand.

"I don't want to fall asleep again. I want to stay awake until Latham comes here" she added.

"Are you sure?" he asked her.

She nodded, wiping away some tears from her face.  
They sat in silence for a few minutes during which Ava kept looking at her hands, almost ashamed to look at him.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Connor asked her referring to her panic attack.

"Actually I really don't want to talk about it now. I can't do it" she told him.

Since she looked almost about to cry again, Connor let it go. He wanted to avoid another episode like before. He would ask again as soon as she was feeling better.  
He decided to change topic, to keep her busy until Latham came.

"Hey, while you were unconscious we tried to find someone to call. But we couldn't find anyone and your phone got destroyed in the car crash" he started.

"So I was wondering if you want us to call someone in South Africa… maybe your parents, or some friends?" he added.

She looked at him, wishing he never brought up that topic. She actually knew it was kinda her fault, Connor asked her before about her family but she didn't want to talk about it. And now she found herself in that uncomfortable situation: she still didn't want to talk about her family and her life in South Africa, but at the same time she owned him some explanation.  
Tho, that wasn't really the moment. So he decided to give him a short answer.

"No one, thank you" Ava said.

"Are you sure?" Connor asked a bit confused.

"Yeah… Can I tell you about that later? I'm really not in the mood now" she said.

"Sure" he simply answered her, stroking her arm.

He understood that something not really happy happened in South Africa because she never talked about it. And now he was both curious and scared of what she had to tell him.  
He was about to start talking again when Latham appeared in her room.

"Dr. Bekker, you're awake again" he said.

"The nurse told me she had a panic attack" he added, talking to Connor.

"Yeah, she did. But she is fine now" Connor replied smiling to Ava.

Latham spent some time looking at the monitors and her chart and Connor and Ava were looking at him curious. Latham always been really odd and his face was funny when he was concentrate.

"How about the pain?" Latham suddenly asked.

"Bearable" she simply said.

"She is in a lot of pain, actually" Connor commented, noticing Ava's glare.

"I suspected that. We can give you more morphine" Latham said.

"No, I want to stay awake. Please" she begged him.

He nodded, knowing that Connor would've been there all the time and if she needed some break from the pain he would take care of it.

"Do you have any nausea? Dizziness?" he asked again.

"I'm fine, now" she answered.

"She threw up right before having the panic attack. I guess anesthesia and a bad headache made her feel sick" Connor said honestly to Latham.

"I'm fine" Ava repeated.

"Ava, I know you want to be fine. But you're not now. And if you want to get better you have to let us help you and in order to do that you have to say the truth. So please stop playing tough for a moment and let Dr. Latham do his job" he said, grabbing her hand once again.

"Dr. Rhodes is right. Anyway your blood pressure is ok and you're heart seems ok too. I'll leave you rest and Connor will stay with you so please, let him know if you don't feel good" Latham said.

He understood that Ava was feeling a little bit uncomfortable talking with him, but surely she would've been more comfortable talking with Connor. And he had full trust in him, so he let them alone.

They spent a couple of hours talking about everything but what happened. He wanted her to relax and feel better and he was sure that if he started to talk about the car crash, the panic attack or her family she would've just panicked even more.  
After a while he realized Ava was really struggling. She was turning pale and she started to shake a little.

"Avey, do you feel sick again?" Connor asked.

"No, it's just… my whole body hurts a lot right now" she said, not lying.

"Ok, that's enough pain for today. I'm gonna give you something" he told her.

This time she didn't ask him to stop, she was done too. She was just sad because morphine surely would've make her falling asleep. But she didn't protest.

"I'll stay here with you even if you'll fall asleep. And if by the time I have to leave you're not awake again, I'll wake you to day goodbye. Okay?" Connor told her.

"Yes. Will you be back tomorrow?" Ava asked, already half asleep.

"Of course, Avey" he replied.

She spent the following hours asleep. She woke up only a couple of times, but she fell back asleep immediately. Not only the meds were making her extremely sleepy but she was also physically drained.  
When it came time for Connor to go home he woke her up, as he promised to her, to let her know he was leaving.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning, okay?" Connor told her.

Ava nodded smiling to him.

"Try to be a good girl and don't scare me. Just sleep and you'll feel better tomorrow" he added kissing her on the top of her head.

She saw him leaving and went back to sleep.  
Will drove Connor back home, he tried to insist on sleeping there again that night but Connor convinced him to go home.  
He was actually feeling better now that Ava was awake and kinda fine; he just wanted to sleep, wake up early and go back to her.

The following morning he took his car and went to the hospital earlier, hoping to meet some of his colleagues and thank them for what they were doing for both him and Ava.  
He found Natalie, Maggie and Ethan already at work.  
He offered them a coffee and spent some time talking. They all asked about Ava conditions and Natalie told him she went in the ICU during her night shift to check on Ava and the nurses told she was peacefully sleeping.

"I'll never thank you all enough. For both taking care of Ava and cover our shifts until she is better" Connor said.

"It's fine, we know you would do the same for us. But as soon as she feels better please come back, the CT surgeon who's covering your shifts is a pain in the ass. Even Latham hates him" Ethan joked.

They all laughed about that and they laughed even more when Maggie told Connor that Lanik and this new doctor had a huge fight in front of Gwen and she almost fired them both.  
After the coffee he went straight to Ava, he was expecting to find her still asleep but when he went inside her rooms she was awake.

"Hey there. Already awake?" Connor said entering her room.

She nodded, trying to smile at him. She actually felt better than the day before, she wasn't in so much pain. But she was feeling very anxious in that moment.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Better" Ava said.

"You sure? You look pale, more pale than yesterday when I left the hospital" he commented, sitting on her bed.

"Morphine made me feel queasy and sick. Apparently I don't tolerate it well" she said.

"I'm sorry. Are they giving you something else?" he asked.

"Yes, ibuprofen mixed with something else. A good cocktail, I'm not gonna like, it's working. But it will surely kill my stomach and liver" she said, not really happy.

"Hey! Not your liver, please. I just fixed it" he replied joking.

She looked at her and laughed, even if that was a serious thing the face he made while saying it made her crack up.

"Also, the others asked me if it's okay if they come to see you today or tomorrow. Is it okay for you?" he asked.

"Of course it is. I would love to see them and thank them all" she replied happy that her friends wanted to check on her.

"You know, you have to thank Nat and Will the most. They were taking care of you when you arrived here… and they both helped me when I was losing it" Connor told her.

"Losing it?" she asked confused.

"When I saw you in the ED and you coded I was panicking. Nat helped me hold it together to come up and do surgery on you. And Will slept at my place to make sure I was okay" he said.

She felt guilty even if she knew it wasn't her fault. She smiled at him, whispering 'sorry'.

"Also Nat calmed me down and stopped me from killing Goodwin when she was implying I didn't care about you because I didn't know if you had some emergency contact to call" he added, regretting it immediately.

He remembered how bad Ava reacted the day before when he tried to ask her if she wanted him to call someone.

"About that… I guess I own you some explanations" Ava said, breathing deeply.

"No, you don't own me anything Ava. It's fine if you don't want to talk about it" he immediately replied.

"I feel like I need to. It's unfair that you don't know when you told me so much about your past" she told him.

"But you're not obliged, okay? Do it only if you feel like you want" he insisted.

She nodded, she was about to tell him. She felt like it was the right time and she didn't want to lose her chance, she was scared of not be able to tell him in the future.


	7. Chapter 7

She nodded, she was about to tell him. She felt like it was the right time and she didn't want to lose her chance, she was scared of not be able to tell him in the future.

"So, I guess you looked through the paper I had to sign when I came here to find my emergency contacts" Ava started.

"I actually don't know. I was in surgery, Goodwin took care of it" Connor said.

"Anyway, Goodwin probably noticed the only contacts I added were you and Natalie" she said.

Connor nodded, that was what Goodwin told him when she was searching for infos.

"Well that's because I have no one else Connor. When I first came here I had no one on that list, then after a while I asked Natalie if I could add her and then I put you too" she explained.

"What do you mean with I have no one else?" Connor asked.

Ava shook her head looking down. Talk about that hurt a lot and she didn't know how to explain this. He noticed her hands started to shake, even if she was trying to cover it. He immediately grabbed both of her hands.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah" she sniffed.

"What I'm trying to say it's… the only friends I have are here at med. And then there was you… we were more than friends but still. I have no one from South Africa" she added.

"All your friends and your family let you down when you moved here?" Connor asked, confused and sad.

He could see the pain in her eyes, she was trying so hard not to cry and he felt so much for her. He imagined she had a difficult life there if they all left her alone.

"Yes and no. I had a friend from med school, but I guess I lost her before coming here. I got a job at our hospital and she wanted it too. And after that she started to avoid me. Then when I got an offer from here she took my place so I think she was happy to see me leaving" she explained.

"That was really mean" he commented.

While he was very unlucky with his family, he never had problems finding good friends. But now he was trying to imagine what hell Ava went through if even her only friend let her down like that.

"And what about your family?" he added.

She let out a single sob, but that was enough for making him worried.

"Ava, we can stop. You don't have to tell me if it makes you feel so sad" Connor said.

"No, it's fine. It's just… I never told anyone" Ava said, looking at him and trying to smile.

"But… I have no family, Connor" she added.

"Are they dead?" he asked, not letting her hands go.

"It's a long story, but yeah. All of them" Ava said.

"You wanna tell me about that?" he asked again.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. She was actually glad to share that with Connor, even if it was painful. She knew that even if she always fought with him, he would've been able to help her.

"The first thing you have to know is that my parents, my mum and dad died in a car crash when I was two years old. I had no siblings, from what I have been told there was a chance my mum was pregnant when she died. But having no relatives let me completely alone" she started.

"That's terrible, Avey. I'm so sorry" Connor said, not sure what to say.

"It's okay, I don't have memory of them, unfortunately" she said shaking her head.  
"I was put in an orphanage till the age of five. I was almost six when the first foster family decided to take me home with them. I was so excited, Connor. I had seen a lot of the girl in the orphanage going home with these cute families and I was convinced that what was happening to me. Little did I know my foster parents only wanted money. I was in that house with three more kids, none of us were happy. My foster dad was also an alcohol addicted; one night he went mental and tried to kill one of the other kid. I was six at this point and after that year spent in hell I went back to the orphanage, scarred for life" she added.

Connor was suffering for her, he really didn't expect that. He was sure something bad happened to her in the past but that was more than he imagined.  
Her eyes were watering already and he was regretting letting her talk about it in that moment.

"Avey, let's talk about this another day. You really need to stay calm and this whole situation is stressing you out already" he told her stroking her hair.

"No, you have to let me finish because I'm not sure I will be ever able to talk about it again. Don't stop me now that I have found the strength to start. Please" Ava begged him on the verge of tears.

"Just breath, Ava" he commented, stroking her arm.

She simply nodded and kept going with her story. She wanted him to know, he deserved it. But at the same time she wanted the story to be over, she always hated thinking about that.

"I was put in foster care and went back to the orphanage three times before a nice family decided to take me home and never gave me back. I was almost nine when I finally found peace. They were nice and caring, they helped me getting better and we also had a dog. I had no siblings, my foster parents had a son before who died because of an undiagnosed heart defect. I don't know if this was the reason why I choose to become a CT surgeon but I like to think I wanted to avoid that terrible experience to other families" she continued.

Connor was holding her hand and he was able to feel how tensed and shaky she was. He was sure something bad happened after that or she would've not been so nervous.

"That was really great, you were finally happy" he commented.

He wanted to ask if she wanted him to contact her parents but he waited to hear what else she had to tell him.

"That happiness didn't last forever. After high school I got into med school and after a month or so the worst thing happened. I was in college and I got a call from the hospital in my town… A drunk driver hit my parents while they were crossing the road. There was nothing to do, they died immediately" she said starting shaking and crying really badly.

"Ava. Ava, breath. Look at me and breath" Connor told her immediately, scared she was gonna have a panic attack.

She nodded again trying to catch her breath. Truth was that her chest was hurting a lot and breathing was really difficult.

"I was alone once again and I was so scared and mad. I made myself finishing med school, I only concentrate on studying hard. I didn't make any friends except for the one who betrayed me later and I managed to graduate one year earlier. And then I left South Africa to come here as soon as I got the opportunity. That place is a nightmare for me, I basically only have bad memories. But now I'm here and I'm finally happy. I'm not alone anymore and I… I was so happy because I had you. I mean even if we frequently fight… I had you and I was feeling so good for the first time in forever. But then we broke up…" she said, crying her eyes out.

Connor was getting worried, he stood up grabbing a glass of water and went back to her.

"Now calm down, Avey. It's okay I'm here now" he told her trying to make her drink.

She shook her head, she wasn't done talking.

"We broke up and my mind went into a very bad place again. I feel so lonely and sad. And I know it's my fault we broke up and I really want to fix this. But I feel like you don't want to do that, I feel like it's not mutual. And Connor I can't lose you too" she added grabbing his hand again.

"Hey. Hey, Ava. Look at me. You're not gonna lose me okay? The other morning I was searching for you because I wanted to apologize. You can ask Maggie and Nat. I wanted to say I was sorry and I wanted to follow Nat's advice and fix the whole situation, our relationship included" he confessed to her.

"Really?" she asked him, speechless and barely breathing.

"Yes, but we can't fix anything if you don't get better so please, please. Breath and relax, you're making yourself sick" he said, really worried.

"I'm so sorry it's all my fault, I should be a better person. I only make you mad, maybe you did good leaving me. I only cause problems" she told him, almost unable to breath.

"It's not only your fault, it's my fault too. But we're not going to have this conversation right now. You need to get better first. Can you try and calm down a little?" he almost begged her.

She nodded trying to control her breathing, she didn't want to panic. She only wanted Connor to hug her till she felt better.  
Connor got up and filled a cup with water, he really didn't know what to do. That was the first time Ava was so sick and devastated in front of him and he really didn't know how to help her.  
He was about to sit down on her bed again and help her drinking when he noticed how pale Ava was.

"Connor, my head is spinning so much" she said trying to focus on him.

He was about to reply but she didn't give him the time.

"I feel like I'm about to pass out" she added, grabbing his hand once again.

"That's because you're not breathing properly" he said, helping her laying down from her sitting position.  
"Better?" he asked her.

"Not really" she tried to say, but her vision went black.

The last thing she remembered was Connor calling her name. When she opened her eyes she noticed her room was really crowded, unlike a moment before when she was alone with Connor.  
Latham was there too, together with a couple of nurses.

"Hey, there. You're finally back" Connor commented.

"Wait, what happened?" she asked confused.

"Don't worry, Dr. Bekker. You just passed out, but your heartbeat is good and your blood pressure is going up. You'll be fine" Dr. Latham told her.  
"What if we leave you two alone and you try and get some rest? Or do I have to send Dr. Rhodes home and give you something to make you sleep?" he added.

"I'll get some rest, I promise" she said.

"Good, I'll be back to check on you later" Dr. Latham said before exiting the room, leaving Connor and Ava alone.

They both stayed silent for a couple of minutes, Ava was still confused and Connor was stroking her hair. He was trying to make her falling asleep but she didn't really want to. She wanted to stay awake while he was there and so she was fighting to keep her eyes opened.

"C'mon. Can you move slightly on your left so I can lay down next to you?" Connor asked.

She nodded, slowly moving. It was a bit painful but she thought it was worth it, she was craving one of the fantastic Connor's bear hug. That always made her feel so protected and calm and he probably knew that since as soon as he was laying down next to Ava he allowed her to rest her head on his chest.

"Now try and sleep, Avey. I'll be here" her told her, watching her closing her eyes and falling asleep almost immediately.

Hey guys, sorry for the absence! I couldn't log in anymore idk why -.- i'm back and I plan on finish this fanfiction. what they did to hava was so terrible, tho. let's make her happy here, at least.


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